I guess I just needed somewhere to let out... It's been a long time since I've felt the need to write... or rather type... pretty noticeable from the date of my last post here I guess... haven't really been missing, just that other things have had priority over this I guess... I've been fine enough I guess...

Many changes have been made... Some good, some ok... And some things have remained... I still have the same job... Still enjoying it pretty much... It's interesting enough, except for them reports that have to be churned out at the end of every month and after ever event... Church has been a little different... Been attending Damansara Perdana almost every week as compared to last time, when I usually attend Damansara Heights... Spiritual life hasn't been all that great... not feeling much these days, due to some choices I've made... Some of my attitudes have changed... I guess some for the better...

Well... I don't really know what I'm crapping about here anyways... cos... yeah... Just feeling downright out... have stopped doing office work for awhile to jus write crap here for a bit... haven't accomplished much at work today... feeling pretty 'sien'... no idea why... no obvious reason either... so yeah... I guess I'll jus go slowly thru the day and end up on my bed early tonite... take it bit by bit la...

I really don't have a reason why I'm feeling like this... I should be pretty fine n all... considering the fact that I just watched Shrek 2 yesterday... was hilarious... I probably laughed too much, and so to balance off, I guess I'm feeling like that... but sighhh... watever la... even eating my white chocolate hasn't helped perk me up yet...

So yeah... I'm sorry this page has been kinda like MIA for a bit... but yeah... I'm not able to use the pc much at home... and at the office, I'm expected to do office stuff la... so yeah... I've still got a bit of adjusting to do... with the different areas of my life... till then... there'll still be nothing on this page for a bit I guess... Sorry...

-tab-

Once again, I'm presented with choices.... it's just the same as the ones before, except perhaps this time I know more about the choices I have in front of me. Not that I haven't known them before... but, this round's decision, I do have a clearer idea about my options. I am older now... and haha... I thought that would've made making choices in life a little easier, since u're supposed to be wiser, more experienced, etc.... Hmm... guess it jus don't work that way....

I'm out there again, by the river's shore... This time, I have been in n thru the waters... And well... it's been great... I've enjoyed splashing thru it, jus immersing myself in it... taking in every sensation that the waters offers... And it's been bad too... when u're too long in the water, u can't bring urself to get out of it... there are undercurrents that might jus sweep u off ur balance if u're not careful...

I've for a moment stepped out of the water, standing on the bank, thinking about what to do next... The water's pretty inviting... My heart wants to go back into the water... another part of me is cautioning me to stay out... telling me, the water's not safe, u might drown.... jus turn around, and walk away... But how??? As I pace back and forth on the riverbank, I can feel the grass n sand beneath my feet... it's pretty peaceful around me... but inside... it's a total reverse of that... the conflicting pulls of two ends of the line... Which choice would be the better one, which one would be the one to take... I do know... but then again... wants n desires n needs n beneficiality are all crowded together in the closed recesses of the space between my ears... all striving to be the one chosen...

I don't know....

Current Mood : In conflict... tired... blur... very blur.... tired out from practices n stuff...

Currently Listening : The Night Santa Went Crazy - Weird Al Yankovic

Down in the workshop, all the elves were making toys,
For the good gentile girls and the good gentile boys;
When the boss busted in, nearly scared them half to death,
Had a rifle in his hand and cheap whiskey on his breath;
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo,
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled yuletide rambo;
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye, 
"Merry christmas to all, now u're all gonna die!"

The nite santa went crazy
The nite kris kringle went nuts
Now u can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without stepping in reindeer guts

I am now writing this at me desk.... Will be doing this in between my work la.... Well... I guess I haven't been updating this for quite a while... missed me? *wink* haha...

I've started me job permanently at IBBM... it stands for Institut Bank-Bank Malaysia... no relation whatsoever to IBM la... and yes, it ain't an engineering job... I'm a Communications Executive... which is basically the same rank as an officer or watever la... normal graduates enter in at this level... under the Customer Service Department... my line of communications has got nothing to do with what i studied either, the non-engineering communications la... *hmm... shoulder's starting to hurt... * I'm probably doing stuff that those ppl who studied mass comm would do lor.... learning new things... n also learning to meet with ppl n talking n communicating professionally... have to know more about the institute also... at this point of time, when i pick up enquiry calls, I jus say "hold, i'll pass u to someone who knows..."

but it's been interesting thus far working here.... like the place... damansara's a pretty good palce to work at... thank God for that... it's basically in the middle... it's not in the middle of KL, phewww *wipes sweat off* near enuff to church, to PJ, to my place... pretty cool....i like the ppl around here that I work with... they're pretty nice... nice enuff to ask u to go lunch with them n all... so u won't haf to be alone... like the office environment... the director likes the colour green... so yeah, carpet is green, cubicle is kinda green... hmm... even the cupboards are green *grin* haha I don't mind it at all... I like green too la umm... besides that... me boss is pretty cool too la... like her pretty much... but sometimes, I worry that I won't be able to live up to what I'm supposed to do, once in awhile la... but she's been pretty good thus far... guiding n teaching me lor... So, basically, I'm pretty much enjoying working... hopefully I will continue feeling this way a year or 2 down the road... we'll see la

hmm... I'm still keying in email addresses now... got a whole stack of them to do... cos yeah... the mass mailer thingy has been kinda down for the past weeks...

1405 hrs..

ok… jus got back from lunch about 20 mins ago... back to doin me email addresses lagi... shoulder still hurtin like crap sighhh... dunno wat to do about it...

ah well... besides these... how've i been? well... i've been umm... i guess, i don't really know... the way i've been feeling, it's been sometimes, really bad... n other times, freakin' good too... but i'm struggling, i guess... at times, it feels like, it doesn't really matter... but then again, when u sit down to think about it... u jus know la... and u don't wanna care... but u do... and so on n so forth... call me stupid... but i can't help it... n i don't really wanna care now... i'm probably in deep s***... hang... feeling hypocritical too... and seriously... i'm sorry....

oh... and btw... don't ask me anything... thanks... i'll get thru this... ~i'll get over it yet~

Currently Feeling : umm.. in pain... shoulder hurts... other than that... it's jus an overwhelming sense of every other emotion...

Currently Listening : I Think God Can Explain - Spender

There's a lot of things I understand
There's a lot of things that I don't wanna know
But you're the only face I recognize
It's so damn sweet of you to look me in the eyes

It's alright, I'm ok, I think God can explain
I believe I'm the same, I get carried away
It's alright, I'm ok, I think God can explain
I'm relieved, I'm relaxed, I'll get over it yet..